Anorexia & How It Rules my Life, Part 2
This is Part 2 in a series that I’ve decided to publish about my struggles with Anorexia and how it affects me every single day. You can find Part 1 HERE.
8 1/2 years ago I moved back to my hometown. I was newly single, had no friends around me, no job, and really wasn’t sure where my life was going. I felt it all starting again and yet the “sick” part of me didn’t care. I was very depressed and just wanted to feel better. I wanted to feel wanted again (by someone else). The last several months of my relationship hadn’t been happy (even though they should have been since I was planning my wedding) and I had a lot of recovering to do not only from ending my relationship, but also the psychological damages that had been done the 6 months prior to that. My way of dealing with it was to walk and eventually start running and not eating. I was going to show the world that I was ok by having an amazing body! (Or at least that is the lie I was telling myself, which in fact I know now was giving the opposite message!) Over the next year or two I dropped a lot of weight and got down to my smallest size ever (in my adult life). I felt great on the outside, but not on the inside.