In “You Stay Home, I’ll Go To Work, Part 1” we heard from SAHM’s (stay at home mom’s) on how they made their decision, how they make it work, and how they stay sane! Check out the questions that people had for our FTWM’s (full time working moms).
How do you manage to stay on top of everything?
FTWM #1 – “It’s all about using your time wisely, prioritizing, and not getting stressed if something doesn’t get done (there’s always tomorrow) and asking for help, when needed … My kids are old enough to start doing chores – so I can put a load of towels on the couch and then put what’s in the washer into the dryer and start a new load in the washer – when I come back, the towels are folded .”
FTWM #2 – “A lot of planning, but acceptance that you will make mistakes and forget something. Our mornings are so time oriented due to bus schedules and getting to work on time. I plan out as much as I can the night before. I also use both my phone and a paper calendar. My husband and I cc each other in on emails regarding things that we both may need to know. Also we utilize apps on our phone that lets us sync grocery lists and calendars with each other. Okay, more so it is me doing the calendar and reminding him. But you get it” 🙂
How do you do it all? FTWM #2 admitted to wishing she had more time during the day to spend time with friends or doing activities with her kids. She also admitted that she doesn’t get “it” all done and sometimes that’s hard. While, FTWM #1 said “you just do! Busy people get things done!”.
Do you have time to truly connect with each child while still cooking, cleaning, etc and working full time?
FTWM #2 – “As far as cooking, etc goes – after school, those with homework sit at the bar in the kitchen and work on it (with my help, if needed) as I am making supper or doing the dishwasher, etc …. Each night, the dishes, laundry, etc can wait – we cuddle in the living room and watch tv or sit on the floor and play games .”
FTWM #1 – “Absolutely. I think we still have plenty of time we waste as well. I work out in the mornings before they wake up so that helps. Also I make myself do house work for a time duration in the evenings before I sit down and unwind for the night. ”
Me – For me personally, I think the cooking of supper, eating of supper, and homework are the best parts of the day. Because I don’t see my step-sons or my husband during the day it is during that time that we all chat. Typically T and I catch up while I cook supper or we work on it together. When the boys are at our house, we eat supper as a family and I ask them lots of questions about their days and they tell us what’s going on. The other time that we get to connect is car rides. The boys talk to us more during car rides than probably any other time (other than meals)! That’s how we get to truly connect. My SS’s also know that during the week we pretty much stick to meals, homework, etc. but on the weekends we play games, do things outside, having movie night, etc. It helps to have the balance of work, chores, and “play” time.
How do you spend time with your kids & family without being busy? FTWM #2 says that they make their kids part of their “busy-ness”. If they are working on something, the kids are included. FTWM #1 says that other than when she is at work, she’s pretty introverted, so if she’s not at work, she’s at home with her family. For us…being busy is just our life. A lot of it is also surrounding the boys and their activities. It is what it is and it’s going so fast already, that we just soak every minute in!
How hard was it go to back after maternity leave? For one of these women, it was super easy! For the other, it was much more difficult, but both women professed their love for their jobs and careers. For me, I obviously never had that decision, but I can say that sometimes (breaks from school, summer break, etc) it’s hard to leave every day and go to work. I’d rather be spending those days at home with the boys!
Did you consider staying home or know you needed to work for income and/or sanity? FTWM #1 said that they had considered it and it still wasn’t out of the picture. For her, choosing to work comes down to her passion for her job and feeling “called” to be doing it. FTWM #2 said that she did stay home for a short period of time, worked a part-time job, and now a full-time job, but while her children fill her heart, her job fills her soul!
Do you feel like you are able to do both jobs (work & parenting) to the quality you expect from yourself? FTWM #2 said she doesn’t expect a lot out of herself! LOL! If she’s happy and her kids are happy, that’s all she cares about! No one is perfect, she just learns from situations and moves on! FTWM #1 says she does feel that she is doing both well! She said, “I think I have to believe in myself so others do to!”
How old are your children?
FTWM #1 – 1 and 4
FTWM # 2 – 4,5,6 (This woman deserves an award! LOL!)
If given the change, would you give up your full-time job to be a SAHM?
FTWM #2 “Financially if we could do it, then possibly … I would need something to fill my soul, though … Whether it be a hobby outside of the home or a Work from home business… Not that being a mom isn’t rewarding and fulfilling enough – I just personally believe for myself that I need more…. I can be a mom and I can be something else”
FTWM #1 “I don’t have it ruled out, but I also don’t know if it is where I am supposed to be. I feel a calling to be in the field I am in. ”
I think the greatest things I learned from these moms is that they both feel very strongly called to be working outside the home! They are also willing to admit that they screw up, miss things, learn from them, and move on! These moms have also proven that organization apps & calendars were made for FTWM’s! Working full-time out of the home and having a family to care for is probably the biggest responsbility, as women, that we take on. Knowing we have the support of everyone around us is crucial. Let’s rally around these women and the jobs they’ve taken on and let them know that we support them and are here for them!
Are you a FTWM? What would you add to this conversation?
I love what the FTWMs have shared and I agree! My thoughts: I have two frames of mind – “newborn baby mom” and “toddler mom.”
Newborn Baby Mom says:
Going back to work 5 months after having a baby (we were blessed to have an April birth) was torturous. I pumped 3-4 times a day at my job and cried every morning when I dropped him off at daycare. I was not productive at work and all I could think about was my baby. I wanted to become a SAHM more than anything and I would dream on a daily basis what my life could be if I were to stay at home. I had never hated my job until that year.
Then, along came summer. HA-LE-LU-JAHHHHHHHH. “I won’t ever leave this wonderful, fabulous, fulfilling job,” I thought.
Now, in 2015, “Toddler Mom” says:
Everything became much easier once I stopped nursing. I became a productive teacher again once I wasn’t attached to the pump, and I enjoyed my work as before. Life at school AND at home is much easier now that the baby is more independent.
I am thrilled that I have a job that allows me to feed my passions, but also gives me a lengthy summer break to spend with my family. The school year is crazy, hectic, and busy…but I wouldn’t have it any other way. The activity and bustle keeps us healthy and involved in our community. There are days where all I want to do is be at home, but I am continually reminded how important my job is when I arrive at school. Financially, we wouldn’t be able to live in our current home if I didn’t work. We also have a HECK of a deal with insurance, since we both teach in the school district. All-in-all……FTWM is for me. 🙂
Thanks for the post, friend!!
Thanks for stopping by and your thoughts! I think the biggest lesson I’ve learned from this is that no matter which route you’ve chosen for your family, you have strong convictions about it and that makes it right for your home! And that…is a fantastic thing!