The holidays have recently passed and that means a lot of engagements happened and the impending wedding! Now, those young, excited, newly engaged women are counting down the days until they say “I Do!” They are counting down the days until they get to wear a beautiful dress and marry their “dream man!”
I understand the excitement surrounding a wedding, I really do, but I’m here to tell you young, newly engaged women, don’t count down the days until your wedding. Count the days after your wedding! That’s when life really begins!
The Pressure
Our society has put such pressure on brides everywhere to have the perfect day, more special than anyone elses, more unique, more perfect. What if we put the pressure on bride & grooms to have a marriage like that? If we, society, put as much effort into marriages as we do into the wedding itself, maybe our divorce rate would be less?
T and I chose to go a very simple route when we got married. Obviously T had been down the aisle before and I had not, so we worked to find a perfect balance for the two of us (and the boys)! We knew we wanted the wedding to be very relaxed and family oriented. We didn’t want to spend a lot of money, nor did we want my parents to spend a lot of money! So, the wedding itself was just our parents, siblings, and grandparents. The reception was an open house in the afternoon with an appetizer buffet (think about 15 different appetizers that were amazingly delicious and a chocolate fountain).
What’s Really Important
We didn’t have 200+ people (we maxed our guest list out at about 120 people), no dance, no cake, no first dance…none of that! 3 things were the most important to me: I got to wear my dream dress, I had amazing pictures, and my family was there! Check, check, and check! While those were my three materialistic requirements of the day there was truly only one thing that mattered to me and it was that at the end of the day, T and I were married, period!
For us, that last point was the most important and honestly, the only thing that really mattered. Too many people focus on the days leading up to the wedding. They focus on the details of the day, the parties before the day, and the day itself must be absolutely perfect. While I respect those ladies, it’s not what makes a marriage. My marriage is not any less official or any less worthwhile because we spent $2000 on our wedding and not $200,000. That wedding that spent 200K is not any more guaranteed to survive than mine!
After the Wedding
You see, life REALLY begins the day you take your vows! That’s what it’s all about! That’s when you need to start counting because that’s when life gets real! Marriage is an amazing, frustrating and spectacular partnership that requires work! Some days the work is easy and it doesn’t feel like work at all! Other days, it’s the hardest “job” you’ve ever had. Some days are picture perfect and those are the events and days you should be recording. And some days are tough…you fight, you disagree, you don’t see eye to eye, but…each day that you stick it out, each day that you work to make your marriage better, you get to add a notch to your belt and those are the days you should be counting! Making this realization is truly Learning As I Go!
Check out more pics from our wedding and marriage here!
Yup!
They are the best part!
Wise perspective Katy! I agree that people spend too much time obsessing over the actual wedding instead of the ups and downs life will bring afterwards.
Thank you Jeni! I couldn’t agree more!!
I love this! Love is a choice and marriage takes work. I can honestly say that I love Myles more today than the day I said I do – and that’s knowing all our in’s and outs, ups and downs, and our “not so pretty” traits.
Isn’t that the truth?! I can completely agree with you too! I definitely love T more and on a much deeper level than I did when we got married! It’s an un-explainable kind of love!