Tag: step-mom

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5 Tips for the First Years as a Step-Parent

— Katy Flint2 Comments
5 Tips for the First Years as a Step-Parent

There are articles in magazines and all over the internet for surviving your first trimester of a pregnancy, the first year of your babies life..there are books written about it.  But what about those of us who actually didn’t birth the children in our care?? Becoming a stepmom is the most wonderful, difficult, rewarding, and frustrating thing I’ve ever experienced in my life! I can’t imagine my life without my step-sons in it anymore, but wow were those first couple of years tough!!  Here are my top 5 tips for step-parents to help you survive the first years as a step-parent!

     5.  Stop Comparing Your Family to Other Blended Families – it’s easy to compare yourself to Bob & Mary down the street and how their blended family works, but it’s pointless!  Every blended family is different and that’s because every person is different, every divorce is different, and every marriage is different.  Realize this and be OK with it.  Be confident in the blended family you have and focus on it!  Don’t compare yours to someone else’s because you will always feel let down!

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Stepmom, yes. Victim, no!

— Katy Flint4 Comments

I love the support that the stepmom community within social media provides, but I also get very frustrated with the mentality that stepmoms or step-dads are victims.  Unfortunately there seems to be a group of step-moms specifically on Twitter (or at least that’s where I have found them) that have decided that step-moms are treated unfairly and that we are the victim in the situation.  I’m a step-mom and I’m telling you we are not victims.

Choosing to date and marry someone with children from a previous relationship or marriage is a very conscious decision.  It affects the dynamics of your relationship on so many levels.  There isn’t a honeymoon period where it’s just you and your spouse and there’s actually 3 or 4 people in your relationship (directly or indirectly): you, your spouse, the other parent and possibly another step-parent).  You have to be very aware of the situation that you are in and how every decision you make affects not only your household, but quite possibly the other household!

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Things You Need to Know About Step-Parents!

— Katy Flint6 Comments

I LOVE being a step-mom! I love my step-sons…or my boys as I affectionately call them! We all know they aren’t biologically my boys, but I love them as if they are!  Earlier this summer I came across THIS article about being a step-parent and felt as though I could have written it myself!

I feel the need to preface or follow up what I refer to my step-sons as with a disclaimer because someone might get the wrong idea or think I’m trying to steal the thunder from their mom and honestly, it’s exhausting because that isn’t what I’m trying to do! While being a step-mom is one of the greatest “jobs” I’ve ever had, it’s also one of the hardest, but I would never change it for the world. So, if you’ll stick with me and be willing to learn a bit about what it’s like to be a step-parent…

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R is 15!

— Katy Flint

I decided on M’s birthday back in March, that I would write a letter to each boy each year on their birthdays. You can read the letter to M here, but today is dedicated to R, who turns 15 today!!

Dear R,

You’re 15 today!  I’m still in denial about it and plan on staying there for the next several years!  It seems like the last 5 years have gone so fast!  (You were just 10 when we went camping together for the first time, do you remember that?)  I do, so very clearly!  You were so little!  Not so much anymore!  You’re my gentle giant now!  I don’t know if I’ve ever met a 15 year old boy (I know you’re not a boy anymore, but see the first sentence about denial) that is as gentle and quiet as you.  You’ve always been that way too (as long as I’ve known you anyway)!

Our relationship has been fantastic!  We’ve never really had any issues between you and I and it seems, in my opinion, that our relationship is a special one.  It’s not like the one you have with your mom (and that’s great) or even the one you have with dad…it’s just what’s perfect for you and me.  I cherish it, I hope you know that!  I cherish the times we spend together! I cherish the memories we have together and those times when we just get to talk and you tell me about whatever is going on in your life!  Those times hold the most meaning in my heart and always will! 

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M is 11!

— Katy Flint10 Comments

You’ll forgive me if #TastyTuesday takes a week off so I can recognize M’s 11th birthday right?  I appreciate it!  It’s amazing to me the longer that the boys and I are in each others lives how much I love them and how much more connected to them I become!

Dear M,

You’re 11 today!  I don’t know how it happened!  Do you know that you had just turned 6 when you and your deep brown eyes entered my life?  I could have sworn it was just yesterday!!  I wasn’t there when you were born, or when you took your first steps or said your first words, but you have had, for years now and will continue forever and always, a special place in my heart!  You are such an amazing little boy (and really, not so little anymore as you are on a quest to be bigger than me and you pride yourself in every inch closer that you get!)  I want to keep you little!  I want to keep folding your little clothes, although they keep getting bigger and bigger!  I’m not ready for you to grow up, but I know it’s going to happen no matter what! 

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Dispelling Some Blended Family Myths

— Katy Flint2 Comments

I’m very excited and honored to have a guest post today by The Blended Family Mom!  As a fellow step-mom she understands some of the hard parts of being wife #2 and a step-mom, but also focuses on the positives and making the situation better instead of focusing on the negative and the drama! I love this post and even if you aren’t a part of a blended family, I believe that every married person and parent can find a couple of takeaways from it!  Enjoy!

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I finally met the man of my dreams … this new marriage will be wonderful!
His kids are great … it won’t be a problem to step in and be a step parent!!
Parenting stepchildren is no different from parenting my own kids.

Did you ever make any of these statements, or think any of these thoughts? Did you find them to be totally true in your new blended family?  When I met my husband, Dan, he was pretty much everything that I wanted in a man and in my next marriage. Yes, I am an open and affectionate woman – any kid would love me; after all, I was a first-grade teacher! And parenting another man’s children … no problem!

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Are You Doing Love? Thoughts on Valentine’s Day!

— Katy Flint2 Comments

Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching tomorrow! Are you ready? Are you doing anything special? Regardless of how we feel about the holiday we can’t help but think about our loved ones.

Now, I’m the first person to say that we shouldn’t need a holiday to show our loved ones how we feel about them and while I agree, I also can’t help but feel the tug to be traditional and want a romantic evening and weekend with my hubby.  But, isn’t it what we do and how we act with and toward our loved ones throughout the year that really shows how much we love them?

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My Parents: World’s Greatest Grandparents

— Katy Flint6 Comments

R & M have the greatest grandparents! My parents are the greatest grandparents.  Why yes, I might be a little biased, but aren’t we all really?  Why do I say that my parents are the greatest parents & grandparents?  They love me, they love T, and they love our boys! It’s that simple! In marriages, people say love is a verb and we have to act our love for our spouse, which is true, but it’s also true in all relationships!  And my parents are some of the best at showing us just how much they love R & M.

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One of Those Days

— Katy Flint2 Comments

Before I begin, I want to thank everyone who commented on any of my posts in December!  We were able to raise $26.00 for the Rossi House!  The exciting part is that this is almost double what I donated last month!  Thank you all for having great hearts!

I met my mom for a walk this other day. As I met her, I said, “Please tell me that you had days when I was little that you thought…it’s only 11AM, it’s not too late to start drinking!” Oh boy did she laugh at me! (And then she proceeded to tell me that she didn’t think of drinking, but of finding someone to pawn me off on!  Comforting and yet disturbing all at once!)

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